Cabin (in the woods) Lasagna

Camping.  It’s one of America’s great pastimes. Cabins, tents, hiking, and water activities if there’s a lake nearby. And then there’s night:  the stillness of the starry sky. The smell of roasting campfires and gourmet food (for those of us who love cooking). The sounds of chirping crickets  muffled over the crackling campfire.

And the darkest trees surrounding your camp. An occasional howl. Coyote? Wait, was that a bear or is someone out there? It’s so dark…

Which brings us to our other favorite pastime:  CAMPING MOVIES! The amazing, cathartic experience about horror movies is role-playing with the characters: What would we do in their situation? Would we suspect an intruder if it were us? Would we panic if our friend’s went suddenly missing, or stay calm and just wait it out? Here I am watching Cabin Fever which baffles me as to how idiotic people can be. (If that moron Burt doesn’t die soon I’ll kill him myself!)  Sometimes we just can’t help but root for certain characters to die. Ruthlessly, please, if at all possible- they’re ruining the movie!  And yet our silly curiosity nags us to watch further. Who’s going to die next? What dumb thing are they going to do that I certainly wouldn’t (so I say)? We can’t help but empathize, no matter how much we roll our eyes at stupidity. We have all fallen to doltishness, one time or another. So we cut a little slack (so-to-speak).

What’s your favorite camping movie? What characters did you hate most and were glad they finally got their due by the big bad? I think the champion of camping movies is still the Friday the 13th saga. The first three are always go-to’s. And if you haven’t watched Part III in 3D (and you don’t need a special player to watch the 3D Blu-Ray), then I suggest you turn off all the lights and adjust your TV for the perfect 3D contrast to maximize the amusing effect.  It’s the first time Jason puts on his trade-mark hockey mask. And it has all the perfect camping macabre elements:  nudity, campfires, cabins, a machete, and lots of interesting deaths.

Of course, as Cabin in the Woods reminded us…. there are lot of other monsters lurking in the dark besides serial killers. Deathly insects, rabid animals, mutant plants and aliens are just a few waiting to leap out from behind you. But these are the movies, silly. Chances are slim you’ll encounter anything unusual next time you’re camping. In fact, you would be lucky to see something so cute as a baby fox… and not the three-eyed monster that’s waiting to butcher it for his inbred family.

DINNER MACABRE MEAL:  Cabin Lasagna, complete with masked killer (eggplant and cheese), spider (mushrooms), mutant blood-thirsty plants (brussels sprouts), and your cabin (Tofurkey sausage). Vegetables layered with lasagna, ricotta, mozzarella, and Daiya cheese, and home-made pasta sauce.

My movie recommendation? Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil – a twist on the cabin horror saga, but with all the macabre trimmings served up. Happy Camping, monsters!

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